So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
