Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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