Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
