this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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