Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
