Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
