She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Randomize
