According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
