Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
So squirting runs in the family.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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