My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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