i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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