I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize