there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
