Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
