at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize