whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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