What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
