real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
