god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
