So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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