So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
