She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize