i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize