508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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