It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
