After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
