I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
