I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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