I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
