man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize