I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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