You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
