i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
