i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize