based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
