hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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