I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
