Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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