So drunk its hurt
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I forgot how hot balto sounded
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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