I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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