We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
