we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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