So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
