If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize