you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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