Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We left an ass print on the piano.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
