We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
