Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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