Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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