Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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