Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
