Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
