I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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