he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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