You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
