Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
