is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
