The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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