Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
