How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
