I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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